Happy moments

Wow, I am really surprised of the number of my readers! I mean views of my blog. Thank you so much! Wish you write some comments. What's up people? Are you too lazy to write few words? It would make me happy. Anyway I'm glad I've got readers from almost all over the world. Could you follow my blog, please? I wonder if you're coming back to read what I've written. Could you just let me know you're here please? It would be nice. Thanx!

This week is something special, because I spend schooldays with my friends. I'm enjoying it. It's nice to know, that I'm not alone. I feel like I belong. I just have somebody to talk to. Life isn't perfect. At some lessons I'm bored and I can't wait to go home but anyway... I'm OK. It's so important to feel OK. I don't wanna stress anymore. Btw: Waking up for school is still problem for me.

I saw the Silver lining Playbook last night. I have to tell you it's wonderful movie. Jennifer Lawrence was excellent. I'm sure you know that she received Oscar for the best actress. If you want to see something what remind you what is life about, than you have to see the Silver lining Playbook. It's an amazing emotional story about love and life.

Goodbye 2012

What I've done in 2012

Last year, 31.12.2011 I posted my 2012 wishes. Some of my wishes have get fulfilled. Let's look.
I haven't lived like every they would be my last. But I had days when I felt like that day is my last, because I anticipate a catastrophe in next days. It was very annoying. I am not keen on this advice/wish.

I were not always happy, but I had genuinely happy moments.

I've forgiven someone who acted bad with me.

Well, I haven't written book. But I have written some tales and essays. It's not bad start, don't you think? I'm not going to write a book (anymore), because I don't know what to write about.

I think that I found myself. Sometimes I'm not sure who I really am. I feel like I've really known who I am and who I am not. I'm changing, but not much. I'll always be an introvert and a thinker.I am not completely myself. Me at school and me at home are completely different people and I'm OK with it. I don't want to show myself more that I've done before... "be myself" wasn't really wise wish. Maybe I've been myself more that I've wanted to be. What if real me is that worthless lonely person, who is always afraid of anything? Can I deal with it? I shouldn't write it, because I wanna think positive...but what if I'm not good enough to be myself?

Am I stronger person? I am not sure. Maybe I am a bit stronger than last year, but I'm still weak.

Finally something what I am sure about! I have been in London at spring 2012. I were better than I thought It will be, but "surprisingly" I don't want to move to London. I know better cities and no, I am not thinking about New York. I've never been somebody who totally love London or England. It's fine country, but I've never wanted to live there. I haven't ever been and I'll never be keen on London.

I haven't counted books which I've read some books. I read slower than I read last year. Let's write that I've fulfilled the wish, even If I am not sure about it.

I've found new friend. I've got few friends. We aren't BFF. But I know that they're not false. I'm glad I have them. Does it mean that I've found true friends? I hope so. I don't wanna lose them.

This is a mystery for me. I have no Idea if were better than last year.

I've been in Greek and England. We did stop near Nürnberg and I were happy about it. We weren't in Nürnberg, unfortunately, but I've seen Nürnberg afar. It was beautiful view. I'd like to travel to Germany.

I've had fun. Not everyday, but It's not matter. I were not bored at all in 2012.

I'm not going to post 2013 wishes. Maybe you'd like to know that in my country is already year 2013. I wish you happy new year with no stress and depression. 2013 is going to be better than 2012. I hope so. Everyone deserve to feel better, believe me. Good night, sweet dreams.

Why 30 is the Perfect Age?

When I was younger (about 13 year) my best friend told me: "I would like to wake up as a 30 year old women, like in movie "13 Going on 30", but I wouldn't like to give back on 13 year."

I was suprised. I was thinking about it. She would like to throw away 20 years of her life?! I didn't understand her. I didn't want to be 30. I wanted to live whole my life, not jump from 13 year to 30 year. Even if I knew that it might be good life in 30 year.

Why am I writing this? Because I remembered on this lifestory few days ago. Three years after. I realized that I finally understand my best friend! I was just siting in my room and I thinking about it. She wanted to have perfect life - lovely husband, cute children, beautiful family house, good job and maybe lots of money. We've always wanted to live perfect lifes. Now I know that year 30 doesn't mean that you have perfect life. People have problems in every age. But I think that if you are 30 you can do anything you want. You can have any hobby, do anything. People won't think that you are weird if you don't go to a party or if you do something unordinary. Sure if you are 30, you can't wear eccentric clothes, but I would not do it in any age. People are adult so they don't judge you so much as they did when you were younger. Few days ago, I felt like I'd like to become 30 old. Maybe I just wanted to have that perfect life. I'd like to run away out of everything. I knew that I idealize it ... and also I must live today. We weren't silly... we knew that if you are 30 it doesn't mean that everything is perfect. But it was something like our dream. We just believed in better future. Moreover she thought that I'm city girl. No, I am not. But I always wanted to be.

weheartit.com

Sometimes I'm looking forward to be 30. I don't really know why not 25 or 27 or 35...it's just 30. Today I found that *girl who was my best friend when we were younger* still want to be 30 year old. It suprised me. We will never be old to dream about future. I'd like to see my face when I will read it 30 year old. Hope I won't be much disappointed in myself.

I wanna add something about movie "13 Going on 30". My best friend loved it, but I didn't. I actually did not like movie, main character has a best friend. He was a fat boy. My best friend had similar fat best friend. I didn't like him. At the end of story main character married that fat boy. I was disgusted. It remind me that *girl who was my best friend when we were younger* is now dating with her (ugly) fat best friend. OMG! I wouln't like to find out for several years that she married him. Wouldn't I? They would live their boring lifes. In ordinary family house with annoying children and a mortgage. She would teach children in kindergarden and her fat husband would be a cook. They are really going to have this jobs. She would have ordinary boring life, nothing special. She would not be desperate, she would be just an average woman. If I meet her I would enjoy it, maybe...just a little bit. Or a lot?

New beginning

New beginning

Hello everybody!
I've created new blog 21.12. 2012. It's going to be the new beginning, better as I hope. This is my first blog, which will be written in English. I'll write my thoughts and opinions. I want to change my life. I want to start think positive and enjoy little things. I need to stop being afraid of what anyone thinks.I have to stop being afraind of people. I have to stop being pessimistic. I care too much. I have to start believe in myself. I want to get along with my classmates. I want to be strong enough to say "no". Most of all I just want to be happy and survive high school without problems, anxiety, getting trouple, enemies, depression, without tears or fear. I don't wanna be weak anymore! Hope that my all wishes and dreams will come true!  I want to be stronger happiest optimistic and less fearful person!
Wish me luck, please!

What about blogging? 

Writing helps me express my feelings. I'd like to meet people from all over the world. If you write your comment, I'll be really grateful.
I wish you a Marry Christmas!
Yours Kathryn

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