"The point is that Charlie's story is so real... I swear, you will love it. I was so touched by this story... People writes that it made them cry. But i personally didn't cry at all."
"Sometimes you have to do something what is normal."
"I'd rather do million another things in my free time. Bad luck, i'll have to dance with some guys (or worse... classmates), because it's what normal people usually does."
"Sometimes, when i'm with kids i feel like i go back to my childhood. I'm not saying i'm not OK with my age. Moreover, i'd like to be older... But it's amazing to spend time with children that love you no matter what."
"I feel like i should impress people. I'm afraid they won't like my favorite music, film, book, whatever."
"I was looking at an old pictures and wishing i clould go back to that moment."
"I thought: Everybody looks happy. Except me. I felt like i don't have anyone to talk to. "
"We hadn't seen either texted each other for couple months and now we just go out and talk and i hope everything will be ok again?"
"We were just together. And that was enough."
May
"I was so afraid to send it, but i've done it. I don't really know how to feel about it."
I'm reading everything again. Recapitulate. I want to post some interesting (?) alternatively meanful texts from my old articles. I know it might seem selfish. But i don't wanna forgot theese "quotes". This is the part one - until the April.
Do you like any of them?
December
"I wish you happy new year with no stress and depression. 2013 is going to be better than 2012. I hope so. Everyone deserve to feel better, believe me." Btw: This is the better year.
"I do have so gorgeous mum. Even if she is not and never was like Donna. But I don't mind. She keeps my family together and I can talk with her and trust her. I wish I can make her proud one day. " Btw: I've made her proud 3 months later.
January
I'll be girl who run away for better life.
"I need to work in friendly environment with motivation. I don't wanna just surviving day by day."
"One day I'll live somewhere faraway and everything what makes me miserable will be only a memory. I don't know how I know it, but will run away."
"I'll be myself. I'll live my own way. I'll meet my lost friend. I will make myself and my parents proud. I'll be happy and free." Btw: Done.
"I'm just watching my life wonder what if and daydreaming at school."
"I should not care about what people thinks about me. But I do care even if I'm smiling and pretending that everything is OK."
"I hate being (and feeling) alone in a crowd. What if the ugliest girl at school has more friends than I?!"
I'm sorry, but I love this one: "Schooldays are like bubblegums - sweet at the beginning, but then they are losing flavor and you get bored by chewing them." It's my own idea
"I can't just believe that everything will be ok and think positive for real."
February
Last five years
"I don't party all day, all night. I hate this kind of fun. I don't smore or drink at all. I'm not wild. And I'm ok with it. People should be ok with it too. Cause I'm not gonna change myself to belong. I wouldn't feel like I belong anyway. Because I don't. I'm me."
Read this one if you want. You know whats is sad? I don't believe in it anymore. It would be nice, though. Because as I wrote...
"It's the only thing which is worth it to believe in. Because if everyone will know and act with people as equals it'll come true. People will be finally taken as equal becouse they are equal! People just have to start believe in equality of rights."
March
"I found out, that I like to help people with ordinary things."
"I can't stand when are people mean at me. Now they aren't, but I've read my old diary and it remind me something."
"You know what is most important feeling in the world? Happiness."
"I just wanna spend holidays in my own happy way."
"If my 8 year old self would met me, she would be proud. I'm sure and it makes me happy."
"Dear Katie, succes doesn't make you happy. I mean it's not most important thing in life. Happines doesn't come from being succesful. It comes from your soul."
Now i seem like Taylor's fan, which i am not. I simply like this song.
I've done it. I break my Wednesday tradition yesterday. I was doing my hair (put curlers) because of today's photography (nothing special, simply anually photo of whole class) and i forgot. Interesting fact: I was absolutely happy yesterday. I studied for a history test with my friend (doesn't sound like fun, but it was, honest) and be both passed the test quite well. It was a day spend with a few nice people, unexpectedly at school. We talked and laughed a lot. I was looking at an old pictures and wishing i clould go back to that moment. There were my cousins, aunt, grandma brother and me in a Zoo, two years ago. They make me upset sometimes, even so I adore them so much. It's my family. Nobody gets left behind of forgotten.
I saw this photo on weheartit.com yesterday and thought : "Now and again! :)))" i was truly happy and satisfied with my life. It doesn't happen every day. Today i am not, for example. No big deal. I'm fine. I'm just not happy.
My class (and teacher) went to confectioner's instead of gym. Don't care about details, we just went there to buy some ice-cream and desserts. I don't really have a group or friends in my class. I get well (talk) with classmates, everything is ok in this way, but we are not friends. I'd sit with someone but all tables were placed so i sat alone. I smiled often. I was thinking about life and waiting for my raspberries with ice-cream.
I thought: "Everybody looks happy. Except me." I felt like i don't have anyone to talk to. However i wasn't sad.
I knew i have a friends. They just weren't there that's all. So i was lonely... for five years now. You know, i am not lonely all the time. In some groups of people, i just feel lonely, most of time. I don't worry about it. As i have written i get well with that people and i'm really happy about it. I can't complain. Of course i'd rather be in class with my friends, if you asking. Nevertheless i'm fine. At least i don't have any enemies. Do you remember the Midnight in Paris? This thought is snappy:
I just remembered this awesome song. Cassie is the best serial character ever. ♥ She is so lovely. One day I'll run to my city too.
Sometimes I just feel this way. I hate being (and feeling) alone in a crowd. What if the ugliest girl at school has more friends than I?! I don't mean that I'm pretty. I'm trying to tell you that I'm just in wrong class. Her classmates are my friends too. They spend time with her, couse I'm not their classmate. She isn't really sympathic (not only because of her appearance), but she has got true friends. I'm quite sure that she is not alone as often as I. I wonder why? Why is the world so unfair? Maybe I just don't understand what being fair means at this planet. Why do I care about how many friends she has? It doesn't matter, I'm alone anyway.
"I was looking at an old pictures and wishing i clould go back to that moment."
